Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just threw up on my dentist
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
