I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
