she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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