It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
