friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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