Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
