your room smells of hookers.
And success
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
