Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
