Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
