Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize