So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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