I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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