After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
