Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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