final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
two words...techno handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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