No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
