There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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