i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
