I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
are you so shy because you have an std?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
