Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
