are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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