You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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