Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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