It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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