My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
