you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize