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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I guess I misjudged your gender.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..

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• (524): View more from

  I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  we need to invent and abuse teleportation

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• (445): View more from Pennsylvania

  she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.

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