Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize