Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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