3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
wow bdsm is so cute
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
