I just made out with a guy for $7.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
