i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize