I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
