Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
