I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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