i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize