only you would photoshop your dick
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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