i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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