Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
