The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
