I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
