PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
