Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
