I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
