No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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