do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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