I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize