the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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