Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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