Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
