why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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