I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
