Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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