I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
