I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
