considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
His nipple licking is glorious
Shame is for Republicans.
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