I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
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I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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