Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
