i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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