i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
