they need to just BURY HIM!
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
