Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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