Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
