Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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