i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
